I think the game of golf would be a lot more fun for many folks if they set realistic goals, and thus set realistic expectations before each round of golf. We must allow ourselves to not only make mistakes, we must expect mistakes. Golf is not about perfection. So the next time someone sets out to play a round of golf, maybe have a list of realistic goals to achieve. Some of the things on the list could be as listed below, and each would be adjusted pending one's skill level. However, no goal should be unrealistic. Actually, they should be overly easy to achieve.
First, set a goal to play appropriate tee boxes / course yardage. If someone is hitting 200 yard drives they should be playing about a 5800-6000 yard course, not 6600. Put another way, if someone can't shoot par from the up tees, why are they playing longer tees? Playing realistic tee boxes allows one to achieve more goals, have fun.
Set a goal to actually hit a crap show drive on #1 where everyone has the jitters. However, if you hit a good drive on #1, move the allowance for a crap show drive to another hole. Kind of like reverse psychology. We all know it's coming, so why bother fighting it? If you do 3 crap show drives, then 3 crap show drives is the goal for the next round, not one or worse, zero. Unrealistic.
Set a goal to hit four out of 12 fairways with the driver. If someone hits four fairways after 8 holes, guess what? They're done...they've met their goal. The pressure is off now. If the player misses the rest of the fairways, so what? Plus, avoid re-setting goals too quickly to meet higher standards until one has demonstrated the ability. If you hit 6 fairways it could be because the pressure was "off" to expect hitting 6 fairways...keep the goal at 4.
Pending skill level with the driver, maybe allow yourself one or two OB drives, and two drives that result in a chip / punch out back into the fairway. Let's face it, it's expected, and even happens to the tour pros. Manage expectations, and turn bad ones into goals.
Set a goal to hit four greens in regulation on par 4s and par 5s. If you hit four in a row, you've met your goal for the round. From there, allow yourself to miss the rest of the approach shots. Anything better is a bonus, but not expected. Also, this goal coincides with playing appropriate tee box yardage, otherwise one starts out with unrealistic expectations.
Pending putting skill level, maybe allow yourself to have five 3 putts. Three putts WILL happen given the distance from the pin, difficulty of the putting surface, conditions, etc. The "sister goal" to the three putt goal is getting 1 putts. So if I three putt #1, and one putt #2, the three putt is "erased". I still allow myself five more 3 putts. Wouldn't it be nice to be on a green and have the mindset that a 3 putt is expected? Seems to me that this mindset would alleviate a lot of pressure and possibly result in more two putts. But if not, that's OK too.
Set a goal to hit 1 of 4 par 3 greens in regulation. If you hit the first par 3 in regulation, the goal is achieved, and after that everything else is "gravy". Don't expect to hit another par 3 in regulation. My bet is by NOT expecting to hit the ensuring par 3s, folks would actually hit one or more of the other three par 3 greens in regulation. If you don't hit any, the same goal applies to the next round of golf, or, maybe expect to miss all par 3s. Now any good shot is ALL upside.
Pending short game skill level, maybe allow yourself to hit 6 fat / thin shots around the green. Hey, it's expected because you actually DO hit around 6 of these shots per round. By expecting it, the pressure is off which means a good shot is a bonus.
Always set goals below the standard. If a person hits 6 fairways in the last 10 rounds, set the goal to 5 fairways, not 6, and especially not 7, because that gets back into pressurized, unrealistic expectations. If someone averaged four 3 putts in the last 10 rounds, keep the goal at five 3 putts because the "relaxed goal" may well be why one has started to see a decrease in 3 putts. Lower expectations = better results = relaxed mindset = fun, not work.
Finally, set a goal to shoot a certain score on ONE nine. For example, a 90 golfer could set a goal to shoot 44 on one nine. If that player shoots a 44, and a 50, the goal is achieved. Walk away thinking complete success, forget the 50, it's going to happen, but the 44 is a win.
The idea is not to get into a defeatist mindset on the course. Rather, the idea is to allow yourself to fail, expect failures, and oddly enough, turn failures into goals. This is.a counter-intuitive mindset whereby failures actually contribute to meeting the goal(s) for the day. Anything other than failure is unexpected. Otherwise, the oppressive mindset kicks in and thus anything short of perfection is failure. These are two very different mindsets. One has only upside potential, a focus on the positive, while the other is all downside, or focuses on the negative. Ever hit a shot while "not caring" and it was one of your best shots ever? Hmmm.
Which of the below post-round comments indicate one person is having fun while the other is not?
"Hey, I had four three putts today...and 3 one putts...YAY!...I met my goal"
Vs.
"OMG, I STINK at putting so bad it's not even funny, I had four three putts today...I don't know what's wrong with me!!!"
I discussed this concept with a guy on Saturday who is somewhat newer to the game. He shoots in the higher 90s, and often over 100. I asked him how he feels while playing on the course. He said he constantly pushes himself, thinking about so many things to not screw up, whether off the tee, on the fairway, or especially putting. You know, all the bad shots that are common and expected given his skill level. He also said the worst part was hitting bad shots in front of better players. It's embarrassing.
So I said "when you play tomorrow (yesterday), why not instead change your mindset to expect to hit bad shots?". Adding "it's not that you WANT to hit bad shots, but why bother worrying because you know you will, give yourself lots of leeway". Also, I told him to, in a funny way, apologize to the group on the 1st tee that you WILL be hitting a lot of bad shots. We both laughed.
He said "so you're saying to NOT care about hitting bad shots...it's OK?". I said "yes, what does caring do for you anyway?" It's like caring about not tripping while walking. Then I asked him "are you less or more tense when you REALLY care to NOT do something wrong?". He said "well obviously everyone gets more tense when they are focused on avoiding mistakes". I agreed.
Then we sat there for a moment and he said "Ohhhh, I see what you're saying. Adding "this may explain why when I'm on the range I hit better shots, and when I practice on the putting green, I putt much better". I said "BINGO".
On Sunday (yesterday) he texted me that he shot 92, his best round ever. And by the way, he actually DID joke around and "apologize" to the group on the #1 tee that he would be hitting a lot of bad shots!. I seriously think that the up-front "apology" may have done more good to change his mindset to check his ego at the door and have fun, thus stop worrying about hitting bad shots.
As we all know, it doesn't take much to go from shooting a 99 to 90. All it takes is things like four better lag putts, making a few four foot putts, and hitting just three or four decent iron shots. Actually in my opinion, the 90s golfers do not realize they only need to hit just a marginal amount of better shots to break 90. Ahhh....those were the good old days when the room for improvement was vast...LOL.